Raccoon Family Shower
Last night I did nature a service. It was 11 pm and I was about to go to bed. Jodi was at the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert with her mom, Becca, and Becca's mom. I look in the spare bedroom to turn out the light and there are the two cats just glued to the window. Instantly I know something is up in the back yard. I throw on the backyard lights, open the door and there they are. What I thought was a single raccoon problem became plural, 4-5 to be more accurate. I grabbed a broom and chased a few up the tree. Once I had them treed I unwound the hose. I set the spray to "Jet" and then proceeded to drench the raccoon family. First I blasted dad in the redwood tree. I got him nice and dripping and then let him climb down. Next I got Jr. Jr was not so smart. He kept running along the base of the fence from one side to the other. The whole time my jet was on him. It was like that game at the boardwalk. A few times he came my way and you can bet I was eying my escape route. I let up on Jr. after he squeezed through the fence. He kept playing peek-aboo so I washed his face for him. I blasted the remaining members of the family in the tree a few more times and then started to feel bad. The scarecrow had fallen down on the job and it was time to get it back in action. Scarecrows in the old days used to literally fall down, in the 21st century scarecrows just run out of batteries. As I was replacing the batteries I could hear the coons regrouping. They were dropping out of trees, climbing them, chirping and chattering. I felt like I was in Iraq trying to reload my weapon as the insurgents moved in. Finally I got the battery in, gave the family a final douche, and flipped on the scarecrow for the night shift. 
I woke up this morning and the yard was untouched except for the two new gopher mounds in the middle of the lawn. I'm starting to think that lawn is overrated. So on top of the scarecrow to deter the raccoons I will probably go out and get one of those vibrating rods that go in the ground to keep gophers away. I would really like to fashion some squirrels out of plastic exp0$ives and cure the problem, but instead I'll take the medication approach. Just like doctors these days, they won't cure you but they'll give you something to allow you to live with it.
Last night I did nature a service. It was 11 pm and I was about to go to bed. Jodi was at the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert with her mom, Becca, and Becca's mom. I look in the spare bedroom to turn out the light and there are the two cats just glued to the window. Instantly I know something is up in the back yard. I throw on the backyard lights, open the door and there they are. What I thought was a single raccoon problem became plural, 4-5 to be more accurate. I grabbed a broom and chased a few up the tree. Once I had them treed I unwound the hose. I set the spray to "Jet" and then proceeded to drench the raccoon family. First I blasted dad in the redwood tree. I got him nice and dripping and then let him climb down. Next I got Jr. Jr was not so smart. He kept running along the base of the fence from one side to the other. The whole time my jet was on him. It was like that game at the boardwalk. A few times he came my way and you can bet I was eying my escape route. I let up on Jr. after he squeezed through the fence. He kept playing peek-aboo so I washed his face for him. I blasted the remaining members of the family in the tree a few more times and then started to feel bad. The scarecrow had fallen down on the job and it was time to get it back in action. Scarecrows in the old days used to literally fall down, in the 21st century scarecrows just run out of batteries. As I was replacing the batteries I could hear the coons regrouping. They were dropping out of trees, climbing them, chirping and chattering. I felt like I was in Iraq trying to reload my weapon as the insurgents moved in. Finally I got the battery in, gave the family a final douche, and flipped on the scarecrow for the night shift. 
I woke up this morning and the yard was untouched except for the two new gopher mounds in the middle of the lawn. I'm starting to think that lawn is overrated. So on top of the scarecrow to deter the raccoons I will probably go out and get one of those vibrating rods that go in the ground to keep gophers away. I would really like to fashion some squirrels out of plastic exp0$ives and cure the problem, but instead I'll take the medication approach. Just like doctors these days, they won't cure you but they'll give you something to allow you to live with it.
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